Out of the Desert

“If you love me, obey my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you. He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth. The world cannot receive him, because it isn’t looking for him and doesn’t recognize him. But you know him, because he lives with you now and later will be in you.”  (John 14:15-17, NLT)

It's been a little over 3-1/2 years since I walked into the desert.  I remember the day pretty clearly.  The scheduled meeting ended up including my manager and an HR representative. It concluded with me heading home midday with a "package of paperwork" and a bag full of worries.  Late 40's, mortgage and bills, four mouths to feed, clothe and house ... and unemployed.

Back then, I wrote about teaching a class on Lent and the Christian disciplines.  My wife observed (and rightly so) that I had been required to give up my job for Lent.  Looking back, it was a step into the desert - first the desert of unemployment and then the desert of recurring contract-only employment.

In the desert, the temptation is there to whine and complain and blame.  Just look at the story of the Israelites and their decades of wandering.  The desert actually became a kind if dysfunctional home for them.  They didn't know any better and they flat-out refused to turn to the God who was protecting and providing every day.  Their desert experience could have taught them so much, yet they spurned the lessons and history records the result.

I'd like to think my desert experience has been more productive, that I've learned some lessons.  For one, I've learned to trust more.  We never went without food or shelter during these past 3+ years.  God provided and we even began to "fill in some holes" that had been dug over time.  I started my own company that I use today to provide training and consulting.  We even managed to take a long-overdue vacation which turned out to be the best we've had as family (and the last one in our RV).

So now, as I sit here on the eve of "permanent employment with benefits" once again, I'm thinking about what I've learned and what I still have to learn.  Sure I'm walking out of this particular desert, but the lessons are far from over.  Just as an example, when I opened up BibleGateway, the verse of the day read:

"But people who aren’t spiritual can’t receive these truths from God’s Spirit. It all sounds foolish to them and they can’t understand it, for only those who are spiritual can understand what the Spirit means." (1 Corinthians 2:14 NLT)

Isn't that just like God to show me who he is and that I still have things to learn.  The Crooked Path went through the desert him to teach me.  The journey and the learning continue even as I walk back out of the desert tomorrow morning.

To Run and Dance Again

To say it's been an interesting week is probably an understatement.  I've been challenged on multiple fronts to think differently about the world around me.  Some of these challenges are recurring, some are new.  One encounter in particular is something I've been waiting for a while (though not nearly as long as those most directly involved).  It's that thing - that encounter - that I've chosen to write about.  And I chose it because it reminds me of my own life and because it is at the center of what I believe.

The man in the chair is Kevin.  I've only known him a few short years, and not deeply at that.  The hitchhiker is is his nephew.  You can tell almost instantly that Kevin has physical challenges.  Yet those troubles and the chair that provides his mobility don't define him.  They may have limited him to a great degree, but define him?  Not a chance!  Kevin would have defined himself as beloved son of God along with being a friend, a man, a very competitive game player, and a loved family member.

You're noticing all the "past tense" use, right?  Well what is past tense for Kevin right now are his infirmities and that chair of his.  Kevin passed through Earth's gates and into the Presence last week.  And he did it a way that so defines him ... visiting family in another city and quietly, in his sleep.  Absent from that limited body, present with a limitless God.

So what should the passing of anybody's life say to us?  Is the death process, even for Christians, just full of platitudes and shallow comfort?  Sure we mourn, but we have to do it differently.  And when we celebrate a life, we need to celebrate the person who trusted in Jesus and is now experiencing LIFE live and in person.  

And, like the song I've chosen to share below, we celebrate our own "next time" still to come.  The Crooked Path has a destination.  Kevin is there, and I'm pretty sure he's dancing right now.

Trust Again - You're Kidding, Right?

To give away her heart before
Had been her first mistake
She knows she shouldn't doubt Him now
But there's just too much at stake

And still He keeps on calling

But she pretends she doesn't hear
He longs to touch and heal her
But she never lets Him near

She's one of the walking wounded
She's been searching for so long
Deep inside, she's hoping
All the fear she feels is wrong

Maybe He can give her 
All the love she's been denied
Maybe it will be alright
If she lets Him come inside

Don Francisco - "Walking Wounded"


I still remember when that song first came out.  Seems it wasn't that long afterward, that my late brother Mike's first wife took her own life at only 32 years old.  Even through my grief and confusion, I somehow understood that Dorothy was "one of the walking wounded" like Don said ... and that's why she did what she did.  Looking back now nearly 30 years, that explanation still rings true.

But today's post isn't about that particular wound.  That one is pretty obvious to anybody who doesn't choose to completely ignore it.  No, I'm thinking of a brief conversation with a friend who has been burned by religion.  It's a familiar theme these days - I've seen it in my own circle far too often.  And it's creating a great divide among us where there was supposed to be unity.  At the heart of it all, is the old trust issue.

For so many of us, trust has been abused and breached so many times, that we just feel like giving up.  The very thought of church brings on such deep-seated internal pain that we've set it aside or skipped it entirely.  Now, while I think there is a vital part to be played by community of believers, I don't think we need to just "do church" to fill that.  But I'm getting ahead of myself here ...

What does it mean for us to trust again when it seems our heart has been so abused?  John Eldridge would go so far as to say we've been told a lie about our heart being evil and worthless.  I tend to think he's right.  God tells us he redeemed  our hearts - he chose to move Heaven and Earth to make that happen.  Yet we have an Enemy who is bent on crushing our hope and keeping us focused on the fractures and broken trust.  It is a very real battle indeed; it's no wonder so many of us are "walking wounded".

Now, the very place that we wounded are supposed to turn for healing and support has also gone very wrong in so many ways.  Sure there are some congregations that embrace love and grace to a great extent.  Yet so very many have turned from being houses of healing to courts of judgement.  They expect everyone to become "just like them" and embrace what they see as "real Christianity".  Instead of being open, they shut themselves off and either create captives of a new kind or drive away the wounded who so desperately need to see Jesus' love in it's fullness.  In the end, that's just very sad considering the wonderful alternative.

The Crooked Path requires us to lift up our broken hearts to God who has offered us his love and protection.  He asks us to trust again, even though we are fearful of doing so.  he asks us to put one foot in front of the other and find community in him and in fellow travelers - other walking wounded - who are ready to embrace him even when the established churches have strayed from their mission.  Fellowship and acceptance are there, we just have to trust God to bring them across our path so we can walk together toward him.  

And remember, we're not alone.  Our Divine Older Brother experienced heartbreak we can't even imagine.  He's promised to walk right beside us as we try to trust again.